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“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.”
— Luke 14:26-27 (KJV)
A young woman in Lagos received a job offer—excellent salary, secure position, growth opportunity. One condition: the company demanded she abandon her commitment to her church’s outreach programme and attend mandatory Saturday networking events that conflicted with service. Her family urged her to take it. “One job cannot end your faith,” they reasoned. Yet she knew the cost: her prayer time, her witness, her integrity. She declined. Within weeks, doubt crept in. Had she been foolish?
This is the terrain of costly obedience. Jesus did not promise that following Him would be convenient. He promised the opposite.
When our Lord spoke these words in Luke 14, He was not calling for literal hatred of family. Rather, He was establishing a priority hierarchy. Our devotion to Christ must exceed our attachment to every earthly relationship and comfort—even life itself. The word “hate” here means to “love less in comparison.” No earthly bond, no matter how precious, supersedes our allegiance to Jesus.
The cross Jesus mentions was not a symbol of decoration. It was an instrument of death. To “bear your cross” means to accept suffering, rejection, and loss as the price of discipleship. Paul wrote in Philippians 1:29, “For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake.” Suffering for Christ is a gift, not a punishment—a privilege woven into our calling.
In Nigeria, this plays out in real terms. A young man may lose business connections by refusing to participate in corrupt practices. A student may be ostracised for standing firm on sexual purity. A worker may be passed over for promotion because she will not compromise her Sabbath rest. These costs are real, and they hurt.
Yet Jesus asks: “What will a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26). Every earthly gain that comes at the expense of obedience is a loss masquerading as victory. The job that costs your integrity will eventually cost your peace. The relationship that demands you abandon your faith will eventually demand everything.
But here is the glorious truth: “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). When we prioritise obedience, even costly obedience, God does not leave us destitute. He provides—sometimes in ways we never anticipated, always in ways that matter eternally.
The young woman in Lagos later found a better position with a company whose values aligned with hers. More importantly, she discovered that her “loss” had deepened her faith immeasurably.
Today, examine your own life. Where is obedience asking for a cost you have been reluctant to pay? That hesitation itself may be the Holy Spirit’s invitation to trust Him more deeply than you have ever trusted before.
Lord, give me courage to choose You over comfort, and help me believe that Your way is always worth the price.